Tom: D D Well, I don't care if it rains or freezes, G Long as I have my plastic Jesus D A Asus4 A Riding on the dashboard of my car D Through all trials and tribulations, G We will travel every nation, D A D Dsus4 D With my plastic Jesus I'll go far. [Verse] D Riding through the thoroughfare G With his nose right up there in the air D A Asus4 A A wreck may be ahead, but he don't mind D Trouble coming, but he don't see G He just keeps his plastic eyes on me D A D Dsus4 D And any other thing that rides behind [Verse] D God made Christ a Holy Jew G made Him a Christian too D A Asus4 A Paradoxes populate my car D Joseph beams nfeignied elan G From the shaggy dash of my furlined van D A D Dsus4 D Famous cuckold in the master plan [Verse] D Right theres Naughty Mary, snug and smiling G Jesus dainty and beguiling D A Asus4 A Knee-deep in the piling of my van D His message clear by night or day G My phosphorescent plastic Gay D A D Dsus4 D Simpering on the dashboard of my van [Chorus] D G Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus, D A Asus4 A riding on the dashboard of my car D Through all trials and tribulations, G we will travel every nation, D A D Dsus4 D with my plastic Jesus I'll go far. [Verse] D When I find myself in a traffic jam G He don't care if I say Damn D A Asus4 A I just let all the curses roll D Plastic Jesus doesn't hear G cuz he's sportin a plastic ear D A D Dsus4 D The man who invented plastic saved my soul [Verse] D You can buy a sweet Madonna, G dressed in rhinestone sitting on a D A Asus4 A pedestal of abalone shell D Goin' ninety, I'm not scary, G 'Cause I've got my Virgin Mary D A D Dsus4 D guaranteeing I won't go to Hell [Verse] D I don't care if it bumps or jostles G I got the Twelve Apostles D A Asus4 A Bolted to the dashboard of my car D Don't I sew a pious mess G Such a crowd of holiness D A D Dsus4 D Strung across the dashboard of my car [Verse] D I don't care if it's dark or scary, G I got magnetic Mary, D A Asus4 A ridin' on the dashboard of my car D I feel I'm protected amply, G I've got the whole Holy Family, D A D Dsus4 D riding on the dashboard of my car [Chorus] D G Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus D A Asus4 A Riding on the dashboard of my car D Once his robe was snowy white G Now it isn't quite so bright D A D Dsus4 D Stained by the smoke of my cigar D G Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus, D A Asus4 A riding on the dashboard of my car D Through all trials and tribulations, G we will travel every nation, D A D Dsus4 D with my plastic Jesus I'll go far.