I make up all the words to this song every time we play it Nobody ever pays attention to the lyrics anyway 3.5 inches is embarrassing to some, but it will be hell for you 3.5 inches of hard r, triumphantly displayed Every week, I'm in a vodka parade Drunk dialing, my life's true calling I'm a shark, you're china Tearing up your body with my band of zombas And if i get parched, i drink 15 Dr. Peps 3.5 inches is embarrassing to some, but it will be hell for you 3.5 inches of hard r, grab your ankles and kiss your ass goodbye!