Last summer, I was on tour with my abusive ex He hit me in the face, then he stole my song That thanksgiving, instead of eating, he had to call the cops 'Cause the father of my sister's kids is high and threatening us With guns, guns, guns Oh, isn't this fun, fun, fun? Everyone says: Take a breath Sometime soon, it has to get better I smile and nod my head But what if this changes me forever? So what if I lose my mind? What if I like the way it feels? When I'm on the other side Of letting the pain just take the wheel And I'm sick of hiding that I'm not okay When I can't even hit the brakes So what if I lose my mind? What if I, what if I lose my mind? New year, fresh start, I cleared my head Turn around and my brother's dead Then my aunt, then my uncle What the heck? We'll throw in two beloved pets Up next, my first record deal Called it a saving grace Turns out, just a slap in the face Man, I remember that taste Everyone says: Take a breath Sometime soon, it has to get better I smile and nod my head But what if this changes me forever? So what if I lose my mind? (fuck it) What if I like the way it feels? When I'm on the other side Of letting the pain just take the wheel And I'm sick of hiding that I'm not okay When I can't even hit the brakes So what if I lose my mind? (fuck it) What if I, what if I lose my mind? What if I, what if I lose my mind? What if I, what if I lose my mind? Now my sister's in the hospital again Broken collarbone, 'nother gun to her head And my best friend confessed That he can't put down the bottle, put my brother to rest And God, I'm only human and I can't fucking cope And sometimes, I think the only way I'll make it out Is if I let go So what if I lose my mind? (fuck it) What if I like the way it feels? When I'm on the other side Of letting the pain just take the wheel And I'm sick of hiding that I'm not okay When I can't even hit the brakes So what if I lose my mind? (fuck it) What if I, what if I lose my mind? Will you be there if I get real scary? Will you stick by my side, side? Hold me in your arms when the dark gets heavy? Stay up with me all night, night? Will you be there? Scary, scary Will you be there? Would you let me know? Will you be there if I get real scary? Will you be there? Could you let me know?