People tell me life is bolony Dull as pea soup blind as macaroni And on their travels food is appalling No tasty mussels, standards are falling Dumb waiters always ignore you Dumb waiters they just abhor you Dumb waiters don't even see you see you Waste away My friend's a health freak, he runs a plantation He says the soybean shall nourish the nation Don't go to restaurants, they only make you throw up My girlfriend she said, 'Whenever will you grow up?' Dumb waiters always ignore you Dumb waiters they just abhor you Dumb waiters don't even see you see you Waste away Take it away! Dumb waiters always ignore you Dumb waiters they just abhor you Dumb waiters don't even see you see you Waste away Ooh Dumb waiters Dumb waiters Dumb waiters Dumb waiters Dumb waiters Dumb waiters Dumb waiters