Star One

The Intergalactic Laxative

Star One


[Hidden track]

[by Donovan Leitch of the album Cosmic Wheels, 1973]

I was impressed like everyone when man began to fly 
out of earthly regions to planets in the sky 
with total media coverage we watched the heroes land 
as ceremoniously they disturbed the cosmic sand

I awe with admiration we listened to the talk 
such pride felt they, such joy to be upon the moon to walk 
my romantic vision shattered when it was explained to me 
spacemen wear old diapers in which they shit and pee

[chorus:]

oh the intergalactic laxative will get you from here to there 
relieve you and believe me without a worry or care 
if shitting is your problem when you're out there in the stars
the intergalactic laxative will get you from here to mars

they don't partake like you and I of beefy burger mush 
their food is specially prepared to dissolve into slush 
absorbed my multi-fibres in the super diaper suit 
otherwise the slush would trickle down inside the boot

you may well ask now what becomes of liquid they consume 
a pipe is led from penis head to a unit in the room 
the water is recirculated, filtered for re-use 
in case of anti-gravity, pee gets on the loose

wherever man has conquered on the quest for frontiers new 
I'm glad he's always had to do the no. one and two 
it makes it all so ordinary just like you and me 
to know the greatest heroes they had to shit and pee!