Tom: C
C F G
I don't necessarily have to be here for this
C F G
I'm gonna keep the headphones though
[Chorus]
C
Motherfucker I'm awesome! No you're not dude, don't lie
F
I'm awesome! I'm drivin' around in my mom's ride
G
I'm awesome! A quarter of my life gone by and I met all my friends online
C
Motherfucker I'm awesome! I will run away from a brawl
F
I'm awesome! There's no voice mail, nobody called
G
I'm awesome! I can't afford to buy eight balls and I talk to myself on my Facebook wall
[verse]
C
You know my pants sag low (low)
F
Even though (though) that went out of style like ten years ago (go)
G
Spose, I got the swagger of a cripple
F G
I got little biceps getting fatter in the middle
C
And lyrically I'm not the best
F
Physically the opposite of Randy Moss and yet
G
So preposterous feel the awesomeness the most obnoxious guest up at the sausage fest
C
Oh yes!
F
The girls are repulsed so I hide in my hood like I'm joining a cult
G
Uh uhh. I'm as nervous as my cattle dirty Curtis
G
All my writtens are bitten and all my verses are purchased
C
Me? I'll never date an actress. Got to many back zits
F
Plus my whole home aroma is cat piss
G
Every show I do is poorly promoted and if you like this it's cuz my little sister wrote it
[Chorus]
C
I'm awesome! No you're not dude, don't lie
F
I'm awesome! I'm drivin' around in my mom's ride
G
I'm awesome! A quarter of my life gone by and I met all my friends online
C
Motherfucker I'm awesome! I will run away from a brawl
F
I'm awesome! There's no voice mail, nobody called
G
I'm awesome! I can't afford to buy eight balls and I talk to myself on my Facebook wall
C F G
I'm awesome! Check it out
[Verse]
C
I'm from Maine and I don't hunt nope and I can't ski
F
Smoke weed but I can't roll blunts
G F G
Might be with my wifey. My necks not icy. Eatin' at McDonalds because Subway is pricey
C
Uh and my unibrow is plucked
F
Just ask my mom if I could borrow ten bucks
G
She's like "for what? Blunt wraps and some Heinekens? You skinny prick, go get a gym membership and vitamins"
C
I'm like mom, please don't blame it on me
F
I got my bad habits from you, dad and Aunt Steve
G
My attitudes sour but my futon's sweet and the hair on my ass it is Jumanji
C
Suit untailored, ringtone Taylor Swift
F
Can't tweet up on my Twitter cuz I haven't done shit
G
Bank account red, body ungroomed. The good thing about me is I'm off stage soon
[Chorus]
C
I'm awesome! No you're not dude, don't lie
F
I'm awesome! I'm drivin' around in my mom's ride
G
I'm awesome! A quarter of my life gone by and I met all my friends online
C
Motherfucker I'm awesome! I will run away from a brawl
F
I'm awesome! There's no voice mail, nobody called
G
I'm awesome! I can't afford to buy eight balls and I talk to myself on my Facebook wall
C G F C G F
I'm awesome!
[Bridge]
Dm
Further more I'm cornier than ethynol. Cheesier than provolone
Dm
I spent years eight to ten living in a motor home
C
With a ego the size of Tim Duncan. Even though I got shit for brains like a Blumpkin
C
I'm twenty four serving lobster rolls because I spent a decade filling Optimos
Dm
And I'm not even the bomb in Maine on my game and only about as sexy as John McCain
C
Now put your hands up ff you have nightmares
F
If you wouldn't man up if there was a fight here
G
If you got dandruff, if you drink light beer....I'm out of breath
[Chorus]
C
But I'm awesome! No you're not dude, don't lie
F
I'm awesome! I'm drivin' around in my mom's ride
G
I'm awesome! A quarter of my life gone by and I met all my friends online
C
Motherfucker I'm awesome! I will run away from a brawl
F
I'm awesome! There's no voice mail, nobody called
G
I'm awesome! I can't afford to buy eight balls and I talk to myself on my Facebook wall
C G F C G F
I'm awesome!
