Tom: G
G C G
Margaret Thatcher talkin on TV,
D G
looks so sincere as she says to me,
G C G
There'd be no unemployment if,
D G
you all used a bit of initiative
Em C
I was on the dole I was broke and bored
G C G
Says I'll take her at her word
Em C
Got a loan from the credit union man,
G D G
And bought meself a transit van.
[Verse 2]
G C G
My next step up the ladder now,
D G
I bought meself an auld fat sow,
G C G
Cross the border quite legally?,
D G
Collected a common market subsidy,
Em C
Signed all the forms, handed back the pen.
G C G
Smuggled the sow back home again,
Em C
Ten times a day I worked this plan,
G D G
Meself, and the sow, and the transit van
[Verse 3]
G C G
Travel sickness the sow picked up,
D G
Says I, it's time to diversify,
G C G
Took all me money from the biscuit tin,
D G
Filled the van to the roof with whiskey and gin,
Em C
Around the South me wares I'd sell,
G C G
In public houses and hotels,
Em C
There was never a guard nor a customs man,
G D G
Put his nose inside the transit van,
[Verse 4]
G C G
At festivals and fleadhs and fairs,
D G
If the craic was good you'd find me there,
G C G
At all big matches in Croke Park,
D G
And I danced with Springstein in the dark,
Em C
I fought with the tinkers in Ballinasloe,
G C G
I danced on streets around Listowell,
Em C
Mothers had their daughters warned,
G D G
Stay well away from the transit van,
[Verse 5]
G C G
It being Lent and the drink trade slow
D G
I took to carrying video
G C G
While on the road to Ballybay
D G
Found a customs roadblock in me way
Em C
To face the border I got her turned,
G C G
The engine roared and the tires burned,
Em C
Five patrol cars fully-manned,
G D G
Were in hot pursuit of the transit van
[Verse 6]
G C G
Through Clontbrit I did go,
D G
I was heading for the county Mayo,
G C G
Round the corner I hit a dog,
D G
Went over the ditch landed in the bog,
Em C
I sat on a bank watched all I owned,
G C G
Sinkin in a bog hole like a stone,
Em C
She was lying on the roof with the wheels still turning,
G D G
And the stereo playing Daniel O'Donnell.
[Verse 7]
G C G
Now I'm back where I first began,
D G
No job, no money, but I've a plan,
G C G
There's a girl down in Mullingar,
D G
She can hold me future in her hand,
Em C
She doesn't look like a film star
G C D
but she's been telling me about her da.
Em C
He has no property or land
G C G
but he has two sows and a transit van.
[Verse 8]
G C G
The Queen of England drives a RollsRoyce car,
D G
her son Charly has a Ja-gu-ar.
G C G
But when the Pope came to I-re-land
Em
like meself
G C G
he drove around in a transit van!
