Those fateful words. "what do you lack?" spark an inner monologue about all that i have lost. no more bound1ess optimism, no more faith in greater powers, too much pain, too much grief, and too much disillusion. despite all that, i realize the great irony that although i now believe only in the exchange of love, even that little faith follows the childhood reflex that "i was brought up to believe." I was brought up to believe Belief has failed me now The bright glow of optimism Abandoned me somehow Belief has failed me now Life goes from bad to worse No philosophy consoles me In a clockwork universe Life goes from bad to worse I still choose to live Find a measure of love and laughter And another measure to give I still choose to live And give, even while i grieve Though the balance tilts against me I was brought up to believe