Ian: Fear of flying Fear of dying Fear of crashing into a mountain Disappearing into the ocean Fear of flying Fear of dying Nervous as a nerd I'm yellow as a jar of lemon curd I'm shaking as we're taking off, all bound for heaven Fear of flying Need for drinking Bar cart comes around with Tess, the stewardess I have a double, then another Fear of flying Here comes Tess again, my new best friend She takes me to the back of the 747 For a tet-a-tet and a cigarette With Tess the Stewardess, I'm feeling better Like her sweater, she likes mine The fear of flying getting less All thanks to Tess the Stewardess In a silver box A metal room A cloudy mess A sonic boom Fear of flying Fear of dying Fear of coming Fear of going Fear of understanding Fear of landing Thank you, Tess the sweetest Stewardess The British street beneath my feet I speed through London on the subway Northern line to Bolder's Green To get my amp and my lava lamp Then, I catch a train to Glasgow Fear of flying Fear of schlepping Fear of stepping Fear of smiling Fear of changing Fear of rearranging Fear of stopping Fear of shopping Fear of dropping dead Dead in a room Unidentified Undiscovered Covered Up and take it away I'm never gonna leave this room again I'm never gonna leave this room again Never gonna leave this room again Never gonna leave this room again