Monica:
This one's for you, Hazel, you woman, you.
Hit it, Wallace!
I got 17 boyfriends, 300 dresses, millions of reasons to rise
In the morning, I sing tra-la-la-la-la-la
I'm a girl with many things
It's true, what's a Scottish Jewish Princess to do?
But lately I'm feeling this funny sensation
Ever since Saturday night
Ever since Susie Goldberg kissed me
I haven't been feeling quite right
It's true
What's a Scottish Jewish Princess to do?
Confusion, emotional estrogen
I like all of my boyfriends
But I like Susie too
Susie, Susie, I love you
Susie
Hey, Susie
Look at the world, look at it shine
Yes, I want to experience everything, now Mazel Tov!
Then, if it's possible, take it from me
There's lots more gefilte fish left in the sink
Oh, what's a Scottish Jewish Princess
Should I go with Morace or Amanda
I like Daniel and Diana
Mommy's gonna cry when she finds out I am bi
So will Grandpa Lou
Cause Auntie Ruth is too
Ian:
And Uncle Georgie loves an orgy
Monica:
Oy vey!
Both:
What's a Scottish Jewish Princess
What's a Scottish Jewish Princess
To do?
Mazel Tov!
