Granny and grandpa
Won’t you go away?
Please find somewhere else
To spend your holiday!
Granny looks livid
Grandpa’s got his cane!
Now my Christmas spirit’s
Going down the drain!
Nowhere is safe to hide
Maybe I could Jack their ride
Where do we keep spare fuel?
Why does it smell like stool-
If I want to outrun granny
There’s a couple things I need
Like a taser and some ammo
And a shotgun, yes indeed!
All the doors are super squeaky
And the floors are creaky, too!
So I’d best be extra sneaky
Or else, I see you!
Granny is lurking
Grandpa, where you at?
Granny’s gonna kill me with
A baseball bat!
Into the closet!
Better hold my breath
Something stinks to heaven
Like depends and death
Just three more things to find
Nothing to hide behind!
Moving so silently
This may end violently
There’s no chance of me escaping
If I can’t repair this car
But its pieces are all missing
And I don’t know where they are
Grandpa’s shambling through the pantry
And I know just what he’ll do
First he’ll trap me and start screaming
At me- I see you!
I see you!
I see you!
Grandpa’s unconscious-
That’s all right with me!
Hope he isn’t angry
That I took his key!
Where is the spark plug?
What’s it even do?
Maybe I could call an Uber
I see you!
One fewer foe at least-
Grandpa’s a straight-up beast!
Where did my shotgun go?
Odds of survival: Low!
I hear granny’s soggy footsteps
And the thump of grandpa’s boots
I smell granny’s rotten perfume
And the funk of grandpa’s toots
If I do not find the spark plug
Then I can’t escape this house
I’ll get beat to death by granny
And her evil, undead spouse!
Then they’ll cook me and they’ll eat me
Or they’ll feed me to their child
Or the pets and hungry monsters
In their basement running wild!
If this turns the engine over
Then I’ll bid them both adieu!
Sayonara! Smell you later!
Say goodbye, cause I see you!
