"I swear I did my best to ensure that
his final moments were swift and free from fear.
But consideration should be made for the fact
that Sandor Katz was my first kill,
so I trust the reader will
Understand that while his screams may well have seemed
like conscious objections, they were in reality
simply a request to honour his strength and speed!
With gratitude and tenderness I singed
every single hair from his body,
gently placed his decapitated head in a stock pot,
boiled off his flesh and made a spread-able head cheese!
Because I believe that one can only relate with
another living creature by completely destroying it!
I'm sure Sandor's friends and family will appreciate this!"
(ahem)
A rationale so moronic it defies belief.
Post-vegetarian I must submit to you-respectfully-
be careful what kind of world you wish for.
Someday it may come knocking on your door.
"Lemme in! LEMME THE FUCK IN! I just wanna 'fully relate.'
I swear I'll do my best to ensure that
your final moments are swift and free from fear!"
"On this matter I'm inclined to agree with the French,
who gaze upon any personal dietary prohibition as bad manners."
-Michael Pollan, author/next "dinner guest" on my list
