Tom: C#m
Eb Eb Ebm Bb
I just went out on a date that turned out not to be a date
Bb Ebm
Just a solo dinner where you're increasingly late
Eb Ebm
I call you and you say you wrote a text you forgot to send
Bb Eb Bb Eb
I just smile and say goodnight and swear I'll never date again
[Verse 2]
Eb Bb
Picking clothes is such a chore, I never know what I should wear
Bb Eb
Am I too assertive if I wear that special underwear?
Eb Ebm Abm
I clean my room and water my plants in case you come over and then
Bb Eb Bb Eb
I come home drunk and alone and swear I'll never date again
[Chorus]
Eb
I thought that modern dating would get easier with time
Ab Bb Eb
I'd have good communication and not have to read your mind
Eb Bb Ebm
I think that even Sisyphus would hate this uphill climb
Abm Eb Bb
And I'm not sure that Tinder is what Darwin had in mind
[Verse 3]
Ebm Eb Bb
Message in your inbox with the same joke I've told a million times
Bb7 Bb Ebm
Timing out my texts to match the tempo of your last reply
Ebm Eb Abm
I could play these games or skip the middleman and sodomize my brain
Bb Eb Ebm
At least my mind is getting some more reasons to never date again
[Verse 4]
Em E Bm
Making plans for ten days time I know that she will never keep
B B7 Em
Someone's mom just got to town, someone's cat got put to sleep
E Am
We'll make plans when they get back but never mentions where or when
B Em
I've diagnosed another ghost and reason to never date again
[Chorus]
Em
I thought that modern dating would get easier with time
E B Em
I'd have good communication and not have to read your mind
Bm Em
I think that even Sisyphus would hate this uphill climb
Am B
And I'm not sure that Tinder is what Darwin had in mind
[Outro]
E5 Em B
Everything's so casual, everything's so... cool
Bm B Em
Don't let someone close enough to push you in the pool
E
Well, I want someone to ruin my life
Am
I want to fall in love again
B E B Em E
But instead you only ruined my night with reasons to never date again
