Tom: C C F Oh bloody hell Im over sixty C G7 My pubic hair is going grey C F I can't cut the mustard like I used to C C I think it's G7downhill all the way [Verse 2] G7 C Oh please don't dump me by the seaside F C G7 Don't shout as if my ears don't work C F Never let me pee my trousers G7 C Don't let me dribble down my shirt [Verse 3] C F The hair that once flowed round my shoulders C G7 Is drifting off just like the tide C F That thing that was my little parting G7 C Is now about four inches wide [Verse 4] G7 C And when you see me on the buses F C G7 Oh please don't offer me your seat C F Or when you're crunching on those apples F C I'll be sucking boiled sweets [Verse 5] C F I can't play squash or go out jogging C G7 For fear my heart is going to burst C F I think that beds were made for sleeping G7 C And that's a whole lot bloody worse [Verse 6] G7 C I think I'll stay at home this evening F C G7 And watch what ever's on the box C F I must buy some thermal knickers G7 C A night cap and some woolly socks [Verse 7] C F Oh bloody hell Im over sixty C G7 My pubic hair is going grey C F I can't cut the mustard like I used to C G7 C I think it's downhill all the way