Patti Rothberg

Lullaby For Lawyers

Patti Rothberg


There are rats there are bats 
There are stinky mangy cats 
But the worst thing in the world is a lawyer. 
There are weasels there are skunks 
There are bandits there are punks 
But the worst thing in the world is a lawyer. 
With their quips and their quiddities 
Their fees and their contingencies... 

There are lice there are mice 
There are lots of things not nice 
But the worst thing in the world is a lawyer. 
With their 'res ipso locuter' 
And their 'respondeat superior' 
Yes the worst thing in the world is a lawyer. 

There's thrombosis, halitosis 
and there's diverticulosis 
But the worst thing in the world is a lawyer. 
Diarrhea, gonorrhea and seborrhea 
But the worst thing in the world is a lawyer. 
With their proximate causes and their escape clauses 
Yes the worst thing in the world is a lawyer. 

With "affirmative defenses" - I would rather see a dentist. 

There are rats there are bats 
There are stinky mangy cats 
But the worst thing in the world is a lawyer. 
There are weasels there are skunks 
There are bandits there are punks 
But the worst thing in the world is a lawyer. 
With their quips and their quiddities 
Their fees and their contingencies 
Yes the worst thing in the world is a lawyer.