Tom: Em
Em
Please leave all overcoats, canes, and top hats with the doorman
C
And from that moment, you'll be out of place and under dressed
Am B
I'm wrecking this evening already and loving every minute of it
C B7
Ruining this banquet for the mildly inspiring and
Em D
Please leave all overcoats, canes, and top hats with the doorman
G C
And from that moment, you'll be out of place and under dressed
Am B
I'm wrecking this evening already and loving every minute of it
C D B7
Ruining this banquet for the mildly inspiring and
Em
When you're in black slacks with accentuating off-white
xx5557 xx5555 xx5557 xx5555
pinstripes whoa-oh
C B B Am G Em
Everything goes according to plan
[Chorus]
C B7
I'm the new cancer, never looked better
Em D
And you can't stand it
G
I know because you say so under your breath
B7
You're reading lips, "When did he get at all confident?"
C B7 Em D
Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
G
Never looked better
B7
And you can't stand it
B B C C B B C C C C B Am G
[Verse]
Em
Next is a trip to the ladies room in vain
C
I bet you just can't keep up with these fashionistas
Am
Tonight, tonight, you are, you are the whispering campaign
B B7
To them, your name is "Cheap", I bet to them you look like shhh
Em D
Talk to the mirror, choke back tears
G C C B Am
And keep telling yourself that, "I'm a diva."
Am B C
Oh, and the smokes in that cigarette box at your table
D B C B C C C Am B
They just so happen to be laced with nitroglycerin
[Chorus]
C B7
I'm the new cancer, never looked better
Em D
And you can't stand it
G
I know because you say so under your breath
B7
You're reading lips, "When did he get at all confident?"
C B7 Em D
Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
G
Never looked better
B7 B B
And you can't stand it
Em D G C Am B Em
Em D G C Am B Em
[Bridge]
Em D G C
Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
Am B Em
I've never looked better and you can't stand it
Em D G C
Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
Am B Em
I've never looked better and you can't stand it
[Outro]
Em
And I know, and I know
D G C
It just doesn't feel like a night out with no one sizing you up
Am B
I've never been so surreptitious
Em
So of course you'll be distracted when I spike the punch
Em
And I know, and I know
D G C
It just doesn't feel like a night out with no one sizing you up
Am B
I've never been so surreptitious
Em
So of course you'll be distracted when I spike the punch
Em
And I know, and I know
D G C
It just doesn't feel like a night out with no one sizing you up
Am B
I've never been so surreptitious
Em D Em
So of course you'll be distracted when I spike the punch
