[Mr. Bumble] Liberal terms, mr. Sowerberry, liberal terms? Three pounds! [Mr. Sowerberry] Well, as a matter of fact, I was needing a boy [Mr. Sowerberry] He's a born undertaker's mute I can see him in his black silk suit Following behind the funeral procession With his features fixed in a suitable expression There'll be horses with tall black plumes To escort us to the family tombs With mourners In all corners Who've been taught to week in tune Then the coffin lined with satin That's your funeral [Mrs. Sowerberry] That's your funeral [Mr. Sowerberry] Large enough to wear your hat in That's your funeral [Mrs. Sowerberry] That's your funeral [Mr. Sowerberry] We're just here to glamourize you for that Endless sleep [Both] You might just as well look fetching When you're six feet deep [Mrs. Sowerberry] At the wake we'll drink a toddy To the body beautiful [Mr. Sowerberry] That's your funeral [Mrs. Sowerberry] Not our funeral [Both] That's your funeral [Mr. Sowerberry] If you're fond of overeating That's your funeral [Mrs. Sowerberry] That's your funeral [Mr. Sowerberry] Starve yourself by undereating That's your funeral [Mrs. Sowerberry] That's your funeral? [Mrs. Sowerberry] Visualize the earth descending on you clod by clod You can't come back when you're buried Underneath the sod [Mrs. Sowerberry and sowerberry] We will not reduce our prices Keep your vices usual [Mr. Sowerberry] That's your funeral [Mrs. Sowerbery] Not our funeral [Both] That's your funeral [Mr. Bumble] I don't think this song is funny [Mr. Sowerberry] That's your funeral [Mr. Bumble] Here's the boy, now where's the money? [Mr. Sowerberry] That's your funeral [Mr. Bumble] That's your funeral [Mr. Sowerberry] We don't harbour thoughts macabre There's no need to frown [Both] In the end we'll either burn you up or nail you down We love coughs and wheezes And diseases called incurable That's your funeral No one else's funeral [Mr. Sowerberry] That's your [Mrs. Soweberry] That's your [Both] Funeral!