Tom: Cm
Cm Bb
Cm
Oh hey, did I ever tell you about the time
Bb Cm
That Ninja Brian and I saved the world from super monsters?
Bb
Yeah, that's a thing that happened
Cm
So please, pay attention
G
I'm talking to you, Doug. Jesus
[Verse 1]
Cm
It's the middle of the day but darkness falls on the city
It's the shadow of a giant cybernetic death kitty
G#
And on the other side of town something rages down the path
If you had a lisp you'd know it's kickin' theriouth ath
Fm
Mortal enemies since the early days of yore
We're just collateral damage in their giant-ass war
Gm
They rumble, battle, tussle, and then do a cocky strut
G
They both know they're kicking Earth right in its planetary nuts
Cm
Not a single human being can survive in the vicinity
It's kinda like Godzilla squared but also times infinity
G#
Me and Ninja Brian were just chillin' at our place
When we got a frantic call from the President of Space
Fm
Saying, "You're the only hope to save billions of lives"
I said, "I'm making baked potatoes and I'm about to add the chives
G
We can be there in an hour if we really, really try."
But we didn't, so they ate France, sorry if you died
[Chorus]
Cm
Rhinoceratops versus Superpuma
D#
Giants from the sky with no sense of humor
Bb
Everyone's in danger from their massive-ass brawl
F G
One shat on Minneapolis, the other St. Paul
Cm
Rhinoceratops versus Superpuma
D#
I am pretty sure that they pissed on Cuba
Bb
I would be lucky if we live to see dawn
F G
They killed a million people and they just stepped on my lawn
Cm
Fuck! I just had that re-sodded
That's gonna be like twenty-five dollars, at least
Damn it
[Verse 2]
A couple hours later NSP hit the scene
You know we could have been there sooner but we stopped for ice cream
G#
"Where have you been?" screamed the president, "We're all under attack!"
"I had a craving for pistachio, get off my fucking back!"
Fm
Brian busted out a keyboard and I grabbed my blue bass
Some guy said "What are you doing?" so we punched him in the face
Gm G
Superpuma was a girl, Rhinoceratops a dude
We knew that all we had to do was get them in the booty mood
Cm
We rocked so hard it put the monsters in a trance
And they lept up on each other in a frenzy of romance
G#
I was immediately sorry that they weren't wearing pants
Now I can't forget the sight of Superpuma getting lanced
Fm
When the sex was over they took off into the sky
All the world screamed "NSP you are super-awesome guys"
G
So we finished off the night with an amazing rock show
Then Brian stabbed a random guy while I got laid twice in a row
[Chorus]
Cm
Rhinoceratops versus Superpuma
D#
Life on Earth survived, but it was kind of screwed up
Bb
Finally we’re safe, stupid Doug shouts "Hooray!"
F Bb
Doug you suck but that's a story for another day
Cm
Rhinoceratops versus Superpuma
D#
I think there's a lesson here that needs reviewal
Bb
Choose sex over murder even if you're from the stars
F Bb
Or you might kill a planet and also scratch my car
Cm
Son of a bitch! Aw...
I'm gonna have to lightly buff that out
Also, that's definitely space rhino jizz on my porch
