Tom: Am
C: 0003
F: 2010
E7: 1202
A7: 0100 NB. A7add9: 0102
Ab7: 1323 or x323
G7: 0212
Bb: 3211
F7: 2310
Fmaj7: 5557
G: 0232
Abmaj7: 0343
Cm: 0333
F7sus2: 0313
Cmaj7: 0002
[Intro]
N.C.
Here's a festive tale for you all
C F E7 A7 F Ab7 G7 C G7 C
[Verse 1]
C Bb
It was the night before christmas and all around the house
F F7
Were scattered small puddles of famous grouse
C F
An early gift from a maiden aunt
A7 Ab7
I thought 'I'll drink this rot' although I shan't
G7 C Bb
The plants got a good whiskey watering though
F F7
After my risky sauntering home from the club
C F
Beyond a quick pop in to the pub
A7 Ab7 G7
To extol tales of old to the proles in their ruddy lug-holes
C Bb
Though they were cold I know they found my jolly stories rather droll
F F7 C
They went down gladly like a tory troll at a glory hole.
F A7 Ab7
I degress, still barely made a crease in my Sunday best
G7 C Bb
When I arrive home in a stupor 'Oh super' I thought
F F7
'Father Christmas is a trouper, I'll leave him some port
C F
Under the tree as a treat, that'll set him on his way
A7 Ab7 G7
And a carrot for Rudolph, the helper on his sleigh'
[Bridge]
N.C.
I placed the offering beneath the tree
N.C.
With a note which read 'Santa, thanking ye
N.C.
Do enjoy these small treats that I've given thee'
N.C.
But when I woke the fat git had taken liberties!
[Chorus]
C F
Just one glass of sherry, I thought that was clear
E7 A7
And the carrot was food for the reindeer
F Ab7 G7 C G7 C
Oh Santa, don't darken my chimney again.
C F
An empty bottle beneath the tree
E7 A7
And a carrot besmirched by faecal debris.
F Ab7 G7 C G7
Oh Santa, don't darken my chimney again.
[Verse 2]
C C
I come down on christmas morning to a terrible sight
Bb
I thought at first a burglar had come in the night
C
A sherry bottle on the fire and sherry dripping from the ceiling
Bb
And now the christmas dinner seems somewhat unappealing.
C
Since he did that with a carrot my confidence is murky
Bb
As to whether he didn't do something rather similar with the turkey.
C
Next year though, I shall find out the truth
Bb
I shall await the cheeky blighter with a shotgun on the roof
[Chorus]
C F
If I may be permitted to state an actual fact,
E7 A7
Father Christmas committed an unatural act
F Ab7 G7 C G7 C
Oh Santa, don't darken my chimney again.
C F
He finished my supply of fortified wine
E7 A7
Then he popped (!) a carrot where the sun doesn't shine
F Ab7 G7 C G7
Oh Santa, don't darken my chimney again.
[Instrumental]
C F E7 A7 F Ab7 G7 C G7 C
[Interlude]
C F E7 A7 F Ab7 G7 C G7 C
Oh I wish he hadn't have done that on christmas da----a----ay
[Chorus]
C F
If I may be permitted to state an actual fact,
E7 A7
Father Christmas committed an unatural act
F Ab7 G7 C G7 C
Oh Santa, don't darken my chimney again.
C F
He finished my supply of fortified wine
E7 A7
Then he popped (!) a carrot where the sun doesn't shine
F Ab7 G7 C
Oh Santa, don't darken my chimney again.
[Outro]
G7 C Fmaj7 G Abmaj7 Cm F7sus2 Cmaj7
Why would he do such a thing at christmas?
