Tom: Dm Dm F G A How's it going there everybody? You're very welcome to this evening's cabaret I want to thank you for the trouble you're after taking To come and hear me play I know the effort that you make and all the trouble that you have to take When you decide you're gonna go and see a show Your wife says Oh not Christy Moore, we've seen him loads of times before And we're going to miss Gay Byrne on the Late Late Show Well there's people here upon my word from every corner of the world Portarlington Portlaoise and Tullamore From Two Mile House and Poulaphouca From Blacktrench Cutbush and Boolea Such a crowd I've never seen before Well you are welcome welcome everyone Special branch you're on the run Fine Gael, Fianna Fail or Sinn Fein When the elections are all over We'll all be pushing up clover And everyone in the graveyard votes the same My belly thought my throat was cut And all the restaurants were shut as I was driving out through Kinnegad So I drove on to Mother Hubbard's where I saw a swarm of truckers And I said to myself this place doesn't look too bad In came a 40ft lorry leaking lines of slurry And the king of the road jumped down and he said to me Hey John, don't I know your face Are you Paddy Reilly or Brendan Grace? Are you Mary Black or Freddy White says he Wait til I tell you what happened to me today I was coming up the dual carriageway Half a mile the far side on Naas The Irish Army, they were all over the place So I pulled in and rolled my window down The saighdiuiri they surrounded my car I thought it was the third world war Some of the boys were throwin Shi'ite shapes I said brigadier general what appears to be the trouble He said "Don't forget your shovel" Have you any auld autographs or tapes? I do.. what about the leb?