MC Lars

History's Greatest Assholes

MC Lars


I got a new drum set, i'm testing it out
Look what i can do mom - yo!
So people always remember the good guys, but
What about the villains?
I-i-i've compiled a list of my favorite ones (turn me up)
In rap form, for you, here we go
The greatest assholes, in more or less chronological order

Here's a list of famous assholes, let's start with this dude
Named cain - he killed his brother, and that was just rude (family values)
Brutus & cassius were jerks, just a little
Nero was no hero; rome burned he played the fiddle
Caligula could give you a night to remember
Genghis khan might tie you up, might lacerate your member
And when it came to ballers there was vlad the impaler
He'd run a stake up through you out your mouth to make you holla
It's no mystery, history remembers
Pirates pillaging, and villagers dismembered
Vikings on a quest in their dragon-shaped boats
Runnin up on castles, jumpin over moats
Christopher columbus rolled up with a fungus
Pizarro and cortes made the natives all say "um this
One-sided exchange, is not that nice" (run for your life)
Like henry the 8th, beheading wife after wife

History's greatest, assholes [3x]
I'm calling you out, i'm calling you out
History's greatest, assholes [3x]
I'm smoking you out, i'm smoking you out

Benedict arnold, and oliver cromwell (traitors)
Napoleon bonaparte, all wish it had gone well
With blown apart plans, like andrew jackson
A trail of tears, dividing families like fractions
Jack the ripper had bad morals like lenin
Stalin killed 20 million, and sent them all to heaven
Or hell i don't know, but one thing is for certain
So many russian people murdered, behind an iron curtain
Gavrio princip shot franz ferdinand
Which lead to world war i and a famous scottish band
Which lead to world war ii and freakin bodies everywhere
At the holocaust museum there's a wall of shoes and hair
On a rainy day in amsterdam, tell me way
I saw the anne frank house and it made me cry (she couldn't leave)
So whistle while you work, hitler was a jerk (no workers' comp)
Mussolini was a weenie, asshole's got some nerve!