If you have to be nobody, And you're bound to be nobody In a world where the somebodies are few, Then you might as well be nothing With an air and a flair, Then the nobodies might look at you. If you can't be a hero And are doomed to be a zero In a world where zeroes are the rule, Then you might as well be nothing Who is wild, wild, wild And wear cap and bells like a fool. A barefoot nothing, A nothing with a beard, A nobody who talks In a language that is weird, A nobody who capers And sings like a clown, Well, somebody might listen In this nobody town, And if we can't make headlines We can liven up the breadlines With a fine old antic piroette, So come along with me And we'll see who can be The craziest nobody yet, The wildest in the nowhere set.