I'm depleting brain cells every day Eating turkey pot pies off of TV trays My black fingernail ain't a good thing I've got twelve long steps to sobriety I've got no money and I've got no home Then my old lady cold throw me the bone I'm depleting brain cells every day Eating turkey pot pies off of TV trays But when I do I'm gonna turn around And say hello to your girlfriend Now I'm packing my bags and I hit the street I've got a one way ticket to New Orleans A bottle of port and an ounce of weed It's gotta last me 'til I find my old lady And when I do I'm gonna turn around And sit down and be lazy Blue balls ain't no fun and I know Why don't you stick to what you know