Tom: D
D
C
There once was a man who just couldn't cry
G D
He hadn't cried for years and for years
C
Napalmed babies and the movie "Love Story"
G D
For instance could not produce tears
A G D
As a child he had cried as all children will
C D
Then at some point his tear ducts ran dry
C
He grew to be a man, it all hit the fan
G D
Things got bad, but he couldn't cry
C
His dog was run over, his wife up and left him
G D
And after that he got sacked from his job
C
Lost his arm in the war, was laughed at by a whore
G D
Ah, but sill not a sniffle or sob
A G D
His novel was refused, his movie was panned
C D
And his big Broadway show was a flop
C
He got sent off to jail; you guessed it, no bail
G D
Oh, but still not a dribble or drop
C
In jail he was beaten, bullied and buggered
G D
And made to make license plates
C
Water and bread was all he was fed
G D
But not once did a tear stain his face
A G D
Doctors were called in, scientists, too
C D
Theologians were last and practically least
C
They all agreed sure enough; this was sure no cream puff
G D
But in fact an insensitive beast
C
He was removed from jail and placed in a place
G D
For the insensitive and the insane
C
He made a lot of friends and played a lot of chess
G D
And he wept every time it would rain
A G D
Once it rained forty days and it rained forty nights
C D
And he cried and he cried and he cried and he cried
C
On the forty-first day, he passed away
G D
He just dehydrated and died
C
Well, he went up to heaven, located his dog
G D
Not only that, but he rejoined his arm
C
Down below, all the critics, they loot it all back
G D
Cancer robbed the whore of her charm
A G D
His ex-wife died of stretch marks, his ex-employer went broke
C D
The theologians were finally found out
C
Right down to the ground, that old jail house burned down
G D
The earth suffered perpetual drought
