Tom: C C/G I sat at a bar having a beer F G C/G Tryin' to hold down the stool When a stranger walked in - stood there beside me F G C/G And plopped down there like a fool He started drinkin' then he started talkin' F G C/G About things that were wrong in his life F C/G The more that i heard the more i believed G C/G The thing that was wrong was his wife [Verse 2] C/G You talk about beauty,when we first met F G C/G She was all a man could desire Talk about love,one night with her F G C/G Would set your very soul on fire But loves little flame is out of control F G C/G About three feet high from behind F C/G Ever since we've been married,well i've come to believe G C/G That love's for the dumb and the blind [Verse 3] C/G 'Cause you talk about ugly,when she gets mad F G C/G She goes from Jekill to Hyde She grits her teeth and her eyes roll back F G C/G And pivot from side to side She completely rewrites the whole English language F G C/G Descriptive,four-lettered and loud F C/G Now i can't out think her,but i can sure out drink her G C/G And that's what i'm doing here now [Verse 4] F C/G I've spent seven years with the wrong woman F C/G Seven and going on eight F C/G She spent seven years naggin' and eatin' G I'm overwrought and she's overweight F C/G If i try leavin' she has me arrested F C/G And takes her own sweet time gettin' me out F C/G If she ain't number one,she's in the top two F G C/G Of things that i could live without [Verse 5] F C/G Men commit murder and all kinds of mayhem F C/G In a few years they're back on the streets F C/G Highway robbery and white collar crime G And they laugh at the system they beat F C/G Sometimes i'm tempted - sometimes i'm ashamed F C/G Of the things that the law will allow F C/G I could have killed her when i first met her G C/G And i'd have been out of jail by now F C/G I could have killed her when we first met G C/G And i've have been out of jail by now