Tom: G
G
Wow, somebody done been to the WalMart
Man, this is the stuff I got for Christmas.
Well you cleaned up! Whadya git
(stop) D
Five flannel shirts
G
Four big mud tires
C
Three shotgun shells
D
Two hunting dogs
G C G
And some parts to a Mustang GT.
G
Hey Bubba you got gypped there's 12 days to Christmas
I know that, I got it covered Look over in the corner
That's yours too
Yea.
Chorus:
D
Twelve-pack of Bud
Eleven Wrastlin' tickets
Ten o' Copenhagen
Nine years probation
Eight table dancers
Seven packs of Redman
Six cans of Spam
G D
Five flannel shirts
G
Four big mud tires
C
Three shotgun shells
D
Two hunting dogs
G D A G
And some parts to a Mustang GT.
E
Man this ain't normal Christmas presents
No they're redneck gifts
Redneck gifts
Yea you know like
If you buy your wife earrings that doubled as fishing lures
Or, if you can burp the entire chorus of Jingle Bells
Perhaps if you think The Nutcracker is something you did off a high-
dive
Or if you've ever misspelled something in Christmas lights
Or if you leave cold beer and pickled eggs for Santa Claus
What's wrong with that
I didn't say anything wrong with it
It's hard to beat.
Chorus:
G
Well you know you can't really consider it a Christmas
Less you go down to the penitentiary and visit your mama
You're not listenin' to me
Get the car key outta your ear
That's where the nine years probation comes in
I'm gonna do it for ya again
Now listen.
Chorus:
Are you cryin'
No, just my alergies
Happy Holidays everybody.
