Jandek

The Ruins of Adventure

Jandek


I don't know what I'm doing and never did 
The nights seem so pointless 
And stupid survival leads to stimulation, 
But really, if you're not fighting for your life 
You'll just hurt yourself 
Or find a cloud of unknowing to hide behind 
Get lost in a fake smile 
Yeah, talk it up, laugh and joke 
But don't include me 
I just can't do it 
And what the wheels turn 
I wish I wasn't here 
But there's nowhere to escape to 
Oh well 
Maybe there's action prefabricated 
With myself in the middle of the situation 
But underneath everything I'm just waiting 
Like a blade of grass in the field 
To live and die, it's too bleak 
No mystery, solid fact 
The ruins of adventure 
Smoking in the burnt-out city 
And the wildfire devastation 
We'll return from adventure 
Embrace the gray reality 
A passing on 
Why should I leave a cloak 
Oh where, what 
I feel so sick of days 
Minutes are hours 
Time hangs oppressive 
Go away time 
Leave me at once 
I don't want to know you 
I'll take the sun 
I'll take the black night 
I'll walk through perception 
But it's so hard to wait 
I want to go now 
I wait, but what can I do 
The trouble in my mind I can't shake loose 
I want to go out the back door, get lost for good 
I want to disappear and never be found 
I want to cease to exist as far as I know 
I could always go drinking and never come back 
I could go traveling in search of nothing 
I don't want to know the world is changing 
Just beat down my door, come on you nothing 
I just don't care and I can't get it right 
I heard tell of salvation, but what I saw was controlled 
Either by the inside or from without doubt 
Give me your rules I don't want to post them 
Or be imposed upon 
I could do a good thing, discover a cure 
I can't lift my hand up to open a door 
I'm stuck in depression 
Get out, go away, go away, go away 
I hate that I got any responsibility 
I don't want to talk, I don't want to walk 
But maybe if I walk I'll escape talk 
If I can be alone I'll live through this 
I'll take the hammer, I'll pound the steel 
I won't give an inch to you, you rotten thing 
I won't fall in your hole