Let me tell you about my mountain home Where all the ladies names are Joan Where husband works back late at night Hopes are up for trousers down With a hostess on a business flight Taxi in a Mercedes drive I hope that drivers coming out alive The garden is a dorsetted That Lady - she's so corsetted She's got 15 ways to lead that boy astray He thinks he's one and only But that lovely she's so lonely She pumps himfull of breakfast And she sends him on his way What a sing song dance What a performance What a cheap tent show Oh no no no no no Chorus Then The Boys Light Up Then The Boys Light Up Then The Boys Light Up Then The Boys Light Up Light Up Light Up Silently she opens the drawer Mothers little helper is coming out for more Strategically positioned Before the Midday Show Her back is arched those lips are parched Repeated blow by blow Later at the party all the MP's rave About the hummers she's been giving And the money that they save To her it is skin lotion For him promotion to That flat in Surfers Paradise with the ocean view What a sing song dance What a performance What a cheap tent show Oh no no no no no Chorus x 2 Then The Boys Light Up Then The Boys Light Up Then The Boys Light Up Then The Boys Light Up x 2 Then The Boys Light Up Then The Boys Light Up Then The Boys Light Up Then The Boys Light Up Light up Light up x 2 Then The Boys Light Up ( then the boys light up ) x 3 Then The Boys Light Up Light up Light up x 2 Then The Boys Light Up ( then the boys light up ) x 3 Then The Boys Light Up