Tom: F#m
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My landlady had three lovely daughters.
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They used to come and make my bed each day
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They used to come and clean my living quarters,
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But their mother made quite sure they didn't stay.
Dm
There was Mary: she seemed chary;
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There was Helen: she seemed well and truly sceptical
Am
about my qualities;
Dm Am
There was Julie: she was truly well-proportioned, but her
E Am
caution brought exhaustion on my aching arteries.
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But I was wrong: they weren't at all impervious
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To the possibilities of high romance
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And I sensed a certain girlish nerviness
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In the way they folded my pyjama pants.
Dm
And I was right, for late one night
Am
Sweet little Mary, like a fairy,
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As I lay sleeping, came a-creeping to my side.
Dm Am
She was mine: it was divine - but we were doomed, for very soon
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Into the room came sister Helen, and she (3/4) cried:
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"Mary, go to bed!" Off Mary went.
A7 D E A
"Now, young man," Helen said, "for your punishment,
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"We mustn't have a fight, we mustn't make a row:
A D E Am Am Am Am
"Turn off the light - it's my turn (4/4) now!"
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Well, after all, I'm young and relatively vigorous,
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And though I still protest my innocence,
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By temperament I'm strictly un-polygamous,
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And if I sinned, I sinned in self-defence.
Dm Am
Nevertheless I must confess I wouldn't miss that
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sort of bliss And when it ended I was rendered comatose.
Dm Am
When, loud and clear, very near, in my ear a loud
E Am Am Am Am
voice spoke And I was awoken from my post-coital (3/4) doze.
A E E7 A
"Helen, go to bed!" Helen went away.
A7 D E A
"Now, young man," Julie said, "you will have to pay!
A E E7 A
"You've blighted Helen's charms, filched her purity.
A D E Am Am Am Am
"Open up your arms - come and filch (4/4) me!"
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I was amazed, and really rather tired;
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I thought I'd given all that I could give.
Am E
A little kip was all that I desired,
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But I'm British, so my upper lip was stiff.
Dm Am
She was chaotic, idiotic, quite exotic and ecstatic,
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Acrobatic and emphatically fine.
Dm Am
All to no good, for when I could open my eyes, to my
E Am Am Am Am
surprise I found her mother looking into (3/4) mine.
A E E7 A
"Julie, go to bed!" Julie left the scene.
A D E A
"Now listen, Ma," I said, "I know the old routine.
A D E A
"I'll do what you like, but I shall be vexed
A D E Am Am
"And I'll bloody well go on strike if Grandma's next!"
Listen to the recording on youtube, it's a nice simple tune
and fun to play for friends. This is my first attempt so any
comments or corrections welcome. Cheers, BigMick.
