I can't talk dirty though I know it turned you on You said I better start or you'd be gone I got too shy and didn't know what I should say Can't help thinking that there was another way I should have done it like a politician Criticize your policy Not mention my position Brought a mike, announced it play-by-play There's the pass, deep in the zone But is it in? Let's see the replay What if I had tried reading aloud With a book behind the pillow I need light, is that allowed? I should have done it like an auctioneer 'Cause I need one, do I see two? Do I see three? Okay, that's weird Imagine all the things I could have tried Instead of giving up and saying that I Can't talk dirty, I can't talk dirty, yeah I can't talk dirty, I can't talk dirty, no I can't talk dirty, I can't talk dirty, yeah I can't talk dirty I should have done it like a movie pitch 'Cause it has action! It has romance! It's just dialogue with tits I should have studied for it like an oral exam Crib notes on my palm to questions I don't understand I should have done it like I was the police Brought a flashlight, got confessions Better than I was a priest I should have done it as if I were condemned My final words were blasphemies About you and your friend Imagine all the things I could have tried Instead of giving up and saying that I Can't talk dirty, I can't talk dirty, yeah I can't talk dirty, I can't talk dirty, no I can't talk dirty, I can't talk dirty, yeah I can't talk dirty I should have done it like I had tourette's That way if I went too far, you couldn't Really get upset I should have done it like I was a mime 'Cause I can't talk inside this box But here's a rope to climb I should have made it more like a debate 'Cause my point's pretty good but your Rebuttal sure is great I should have done it in a limerick 'Cause I'm a poet, didn't know it Til I tried to rhyme with prick Imagine all the things I could have tried Instead of giving up and saying that I Can't talk dirty, I can't talk dirty, yeah I can't talk dirty, I can't talk dirty, no I can't talk dirty, I can't talk dirty, yeah I can't talk dirty