I was raised on Black & Tans Ronnie Drew and 'Van the Man' I go off to mass on Sunday And then it's back to the pub on Monday I've got a sister Meghan With a Celtic cross tattoo I'll tell you a few stories And every one of them is true My mother's brother's sister's cousin's auntie's Uncle Barney's father's brother had a cousin from Killarney My great-granddad and his mates They tried to make it to the States His great uncle, he was a failure He got deported off to Australia So they stowed upon a steamer On the famous White Star Line I was raised upon these stories Since I was the age of nine My mother's brother's sister's cousin's auntie's Uncle Barney's father's brother had a cousin from Killarney Well my great-uncle, he liked the races He liked the dogs and steeplechases His wife, my dear old auntie She kept a teashop way, way down in Bantry But he fixed a race in Donegal And now he's got to hide With the sticky buns and cakes and guns And whiskey on the side My mother's brother's sister's cousin's auntie's Uncle Barney's father's brother had a cousin from Killarney I was raised on Black & Tans Ronnie Drew and 'Van the Man' I go to mass on Sunday And then it's back to the pub on Monday I'm from the wrong side of the south side Of an Irish neighbourhood I've never been to Ireland But I know it's in my blood My mother's brother's sister's cousin's auntie's Uncle Barney's father's brother had a cousin from Killarney Well, my mother's brother's sister's cousin's auntie's Uncle Barney's father's brother's sister's auntie had a cousin from Killarney