[MENDEL] Homosexuals Women with children Short insomniacs And a teeny tiny band Come, back in The welcome mat is on the floor Let's, begin This story needs an ending A homosexual Father with children One bar mitzvah that Is scrupulously planned [ALL] Lovers come and lovers go Lovers fight and sing fortissimo Give these handsome boys a hand Welcome to Falsettoland [TRINA AND WHIZZER] Nancy Reagan Meanest and thinnest of the first Ladies Moves into the White House [MARVIN, JASON, MENDEL, CHARLOTTE, CORDELIA] Ya-bah-dah-bah [WHIZZER AND TRINA] It's the '80s MARVIN, JASON, MENDEL, CHARLOTTE, CORDELIA Ya-bah-dah-bah [WHIZZER AND TRINA] Ooh, the '80s, [MARVIN, JASON, MENDEL, CHARLOTTE, CORDELIA] Ya-bah-dah-bah [WHIZZER AND TRINA] What a world we live [MARVIN, WHIZZER, MENDEL, AND JASON] March, march, march of the Falsettos March of the Falsettos [TRINA, CHARLOTTE, AND CORDELIA] What a world we live in [MARVIN, WHIZZER, MENDEL, AND JASON] Who is man enough to march in March of the Falsettos [ALL] Ya-bah-dah-bah [CHARLOTTE AND CORDELIA] Spiky lesbians [DR. CHARLOTTE] Women internists [CORDELIA] Shiksa caterer [TRINA, CORDELIA, AND CHARLOTTE] Who is trying to expand [ALL] Everybody on your mark [TRINA, CORDELIA, AND CHARLOTTE] Congregate in Central Park [MARVIN, WHIZZER, MENDEL, AND JASON] Pretty boys are in demand [ALL] Welcome to Falsettoland Whee! Whoo! What a world we live in! Whee! Whoo! What a world we live in! [MARVIN] It's about time, don't ya think? It's about time to grow up, don't ya think? It's about time to grow up and face the music It's about time Since we last spoke Two years are waning I'll try explaining Just what you've missed We called a truce And fitfully we coexist I'm still loose She's still with the psychiatrist So I don't have a psychiatrist Except on the Jewish holidays But I still have my son on the weekends Just on the weekends And some very good friends But I don't have a lover anymore Oh my God When am I gonna get over this? When am I gonna get over this? When am I gonna get over this? [WHIZZER, CHARLOTTE, AND CORDELIA] Homosexuals [TRINA AND JASON] Women with children [ALL] Ex-ex lovers [MENDEL] And a teeny tiny band [ALL] Welcome to Falsettoland [CORDELIA] Shiksa caterers [WITH MENDEL & JASON] Short insomniacs [WITH CHARLOTTE] Hypochondriacs [WITH MARVIN] Yiddish Americans [WITH WHIZZER] Spiky families Radiologists Intellectuals [WITH TRINA] Nervous wrecks! [All sigh] Welcome to Falsettoland [MARVIN] It's about time, don't ya think It's about time to grow up, don't ya think It's about time to grow up and face the music It's about time One day I'd like to be As mature as my son, who Is twelve and a half And this tall! That's all I'd like to be That's all! It's about growing up, getting older, living on a lover's shoulder Learning love is not a crime It's about time It's about time It's about time It's about—