[Batman] Nice hat, dork, you look like a duck I had alfred read your books, he told me they suck I'll crush your British nuts until they're bangers and mash I've seen better detective work in Tango & Cash You chump, I kick punks like you off the streets While you and Velma here are solving Scooby Doo mysteries Nothing makes me laugh, but I bet your raps can So bring it on, bitch I'm Batman! [Sherlock Holmes & Dr. Watson] I once met a rich fellow who smelled of guano and pain Holmes explain! I deduce this douce stain as bruce wayne The billionaire? Yes, his wealth would allow this adversary of ours To afford the toys his needs Since he has no superpowers! You want to battle, bat? Bring it then I heard he has a British butler Good! Then he'll be used to getting served by englishmen! You're a wack vigilante black pantied spud with no skill My sidekick's a doctor Because his flows are so ill! [Batman] Shut up, nerds, I serve justice, so eat it My sidekick only comes around [Robin] When he's needed! Boy wonder make a wonder how your ass got killed Bite harder than those hounds down in Baskerville I'll bust you with that bat whack rap repellant Rappel a buildin', snatch a villain and by dinner be chilling Gotta sing about your homegirl Irene Adler Took her back to my nest to bam pow kersplat her I'll shatter that fiddle with a chop of the hand! Holy Conan Doyle, let's get 'em! Aw God damn! [Batman] You're not smart, you're selfish, you endanger everyone's life Why don't you let your boyfriend here go home to his wife? Nobody likes you, not your brother, not your partner, not Scotland Yard You'll die alone with no friends except that needle in your arm! [Sherlock Holmes] This mustn't register on an emotional level First: Exploit childhood tragedy Then gesture with pipe Watson finishes punchline Next: Acknowledge compliment Conclude with killer catchphrase I believe your parent's homicide is why you mask your face You're shamed and traumatized And haunted by the vast disgrace Of watching like a passive waste As momma died and daddy was dispatched with haste! [Sherlock Holmes & Dr. Watson] Holmes, you've cracked the case! You're a bat shit crazy basket case! Bloody good rhymes! I've got tonnes! Dissing these dynamic douchebags was Elementary, my dear Watson