Tom: D
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[Verse 1]
D
There's a man with a whiskey face
G D
Hollering 'cross the room
G D Em A
Politics and religion, like a hot air bourbon balloon
D
He's got mustard on his v-neck shirt
G D
He smells like cheap cologne
D
And he's interuptin my drinking time
A N.C.
I'm just trying ta catch a buzz and go home
[Chorus]
D
So if you talk too loud, if you walk too proud
G D
If you ain't bin laid in years
D
If you haul along and yer never wrong
Em A
And ya always see things clear
D D7
When you walk in with yur held up chin
G D
New people they start to move
D
If ya don't know who the asshole is
A N.C.
Well, buddy, its probly you
[Verse 2]
D
Now there's a drunk girl, in every bar
G D
Screaming "It's my birthday"
D
And hey Drakey won't cha play Free Bird
Em A
Its a alla bout me anyway
D
Alla her girlfriends are a rolling their eyes
G D
Saying she's too much to bear
D
I'll give you one guess who the asshole is
A N.C.
Its the blonde with the crown in her hair
[Chorus]
D
So if you talk too loud, if you act too proud
G D
If you ain't bin laid in years
D
If you haul along and yer never wrong
Em A
And ya always see things clear
D D7
When you walk in with yur held up chin
G D
New people they start to move
D
If ya don't know who the asshole is
A N.C.
Well, buddy, its probly you
[Verse 3]
D
If you sleep with married men, hate all minivans
G D
Park in handicap parks
D
If you don't put your buggy up
Em A
In the Walmart parking lot
D
If ya don't catch a release
D
Say yes ma'am and please
G D
And you think your shit don't stink
D
Well buddy, you're the asshole
A N.C.
And thats what we all think
[Riff]
So lemme tell ya all a story....
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D
Well it was friday night, I'd won a scratch off ticket
G D
I was feeling 10 feet tall
D
I was full of Natural Light and feeling alright
Em A
Until I threw up on the bathroom stall
D
I got in a fight with my best friend
G D
And I made out with his girl you see
D
And that very night I realized ....
A
That the asshole was me...
[Chorus]
D
So if you talk too loud, if you act too proud
G D
If you ain't bin laid in years
D
If you haul along and yer never wrong
Em A
And ya always see things clear
D D7
When you walk in with yur held up chin
G D
New people they start to move
D
If ya don't know who the asshole is
A
Well, buddy, its probly you
D
If ya don't know who the asshole is
A N.C.
Well, buddy, ........its probly you
[Outro]
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