If everybody is saying that Love is free How come they keep it Under lock and key When it comes to love You've gotta shop around On and off, the foreman sell it by the pound Every kind of vice Is only merchandise When you're making love Check your wallet every minute Cause that little girl Wants everything that's in it Another thing with love Apart from the money You might get stung If you're stealing honey Every kind of vice Is only merchandise When you're feeling down And you take it on the streets Take your boys, you'll need them It's gonna lift you off your feet You really gonna fly When you remember what I said Moaning like a sleeper And you'll wish that you were dead Now it's lovin' or it's leave her Or it's this or that The man who's selling tickets That's getting fat Every kind of vice Is only merchandise