Never Relaxed

Tom: C

INTRO (Spoken)

Now without any further ado I'm gonna do a little soft shoe and a little boogaloo. For you. 
If you want me to. I will. WILL.


( C )          C         G              C
There was this kid named Syd and he was born 
C                G                    C
Maybe the doctor hit him a little too hard 
C       F                              C
He just seemed to have gotten off to a bad start 
C                       G             C
Never relaxed, never relaxed, never relaxed 

C                    G                       C
Big brothers and big sisters 'came lots of attention 
C             G           C
But Syd was a hyperactive kid 
C       F                        C
He just never seemed able to sit still 
C                       G              C
Never relaxed, never relaxed, never relaxed 
C        F       C
Never rela-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-axed 
C                       G              C
Never relaxed, never relaxed, never relaxed

C                G           C
Unlike the other kids on his block 
C           G            C
Syd never learned how to walk 
C       F                 C
He just ran around acting nervous 
C                      G               C
Never relaxed, never relaxed, never relaxed 


C          G        C
He sat in school in detention 
C              G               C
Drawing funny pictures on the wall 
C     F                            C
Not a moment of peace did Syd ever find 
C                       G              C
Never relaxed, never relaxed, never relaxed 
C         F          C
Never rela-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-axed 
C                       G              C
Never relaxed, never relaxed, never relaxed 

C                G            C
Now when Syd discovered masturbation 
C                 G                C
He just couldn't keep a good thing down 

C      F                        C
But it didn't help much his condition 
C                      G               C
Never relaxed, never relaxed, never relaxed 


C          G          C
Syd signed up for the army 
C                      G              C
'Cause he got tired of working in the pottery 
C        F                          F
And they sent him over to a foreign country 
C                      G               C
Never relaxed, never relaxed, never relaxed 


C            G            C
Syd met this girl in East Germany
C                              G            C
And she invited him up to her room for some tea 
C        F                             C
Then she pulled out a gun and took his money
C                      G               C
Never relaxed, never relaxed, never relaxed 

C        G               C
She shot Syd through the head 
C       G                C
And Syd died and went to hell 
       F                           C
And he burned and he burned and he yelled 
 C                             G               C
"I never been relaxed, never relaxed, never relaxed" 

C              G               C
Now the Devil said "This ain't fair 
C                      G                            C
'Cause people who come here have had their share of comfort" 
C      F                     C
So he sat Syd in a reclining chair
C      G               C
But it was an electric chair
C        F       C
Never rela-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-axed
C                    G                C      G  C
Never relaxed, never relaxed, never relaxed