[Tucker] Every night I lie awake Dreaming of my big break I just gotta act and dance and sing 'Cause I only ever wanted one thing I wanna be a pre-teen Hollywood trainwreck A cautionary tale I want the kind of fame That'll warp my brain And eventually land me in jail I want to sue my parents for emancipation When they're caught stealing from me I want to be on the set Of The Walking Dead When I lose my virginity I want to be a child star It's gonna be bad Child star It's gonna be sad Oh, yeah Childhood is overrated I'm ready for mine to end I want to have agents and assistants Instead of actual friends I'll be abusive and emotionally stunted But everyone will tolerate me They'll have no choice Because my face and my voice Will make them so much money I want to have a teenage Hollywood meltdown Be a pop-culture casualty I want a bunch of addictions To illegal prescriptions And completely lose touch with reality I want to squander everything I've worked for And spiral out of control I want to wake up in Van Nuys With a bunch of sketchy guys Whom I've never even met before I want to be a child star Who are you guys? Child star [Child Star 1] Can I have some more money? [Tucker] Oh baby, I've hit rock bottom I can't live like this It's time to get my act together Re-focus on my passion I want to be a desperate Hollywood has-been A classic where are they now? I'll try to clean up my act And get my agent back And salvage my reputation somehow I'll do a lot of community service And apologize to Meryl Streep I want to be that former child star That you see in bars And say, hey, there's that bloated, bankrupt Hollywood creep! Child star!