Bob Schneider

The Man From Outer Space

Bob Schneider


Shirley Jones was giving me the bug eye
Her eyes were bugging out of her big ole head
Shirley Jones was pretty as a magpie
I took her out to dinner then I took her to bed

Patty Joe Purrina was an evil little woman
The kind that couldn't let a little rumor out of her sight
You see Shirley Jones was a married woman
And in Appleberry Georgia that just ain't right

Oh yeah
But I'm the man from outer space baby
I have no bones to be broken
Yeah I'm the man from outer space baby
I have no bones to be broken

Well big Jim McCarthy Jones was sure some evil sumbitch
He drove a Peterbuilt 84 with a 20 ton hitch
They said he'd killed a man in Macon but he never went to jail
Cause they never found the body just a finger in the mail

Well I guess Patty Joe Purrina saw us at the lamplighter inn
While she was at cozy's liquor emporium buying bourbon and gin
It took her about a second for her to do what she had to do
She called up ole big Jim and told him everything she knew

Oh yeah
But I'm the man from outer space baby
I have no bones to be broken
Yeah I'm the man from outer space baby
I have no bones to be broken

Well now big Jim went and took his shotgun down
With every intention of putting me Shirley Jones six feet underground
But when I heard his pickup truck pull up into that lot
Me and Shirley Jones headed out the back like a shot

Jumped in my Chrysler headed down chestnut lane
Looked in my rearview and what I saw there was hard to explain
Thought it was the devil come to take me to hell
But it was big Jim leaning out his window firing off shotgun shells

Oh yeah
But I'm the man from outer space baby
I have no bones to be broken
Yeah I'm the man from outer space baby
I have no bones to be broken

Crashed into the northpike mall made a wrong rendezvous
Knew this was it I didn't know what to do
That's when Sheriff Gemsbok showed up on the scene
Me and Shirley Jones thanked the sheriff and got away clean

Oh yeah
But I'm the man from outer space baby
I have no bones to be broken
Yeah I'm the man from outer space baby
I have no bones to be broken