He was my friend, I was never alone. He dug a hole, And he buried his bone. But then there was one night, That I still can't recall. When I got really drunk, And my dog licked my balls… My dog licked my balls, My dog licked my balls, He was just one foot tall, That dog licked my balls. I fell to the floor, All that booze made me faint. He was scared I was hurt, Stuck his nose in my taint. I woke with a start, I couldn't pretend, Cause I just hooked up, With my very best friend. My dog licked my balls, My dog licked my balls, I picked him up at the mall, Who'd knew one day that he'd lick my balls. And one day he died, And I sat there and cried, All alone in my house I sat, And I went out and bought me a cat. And that cat licked my balls, That pussy licked my balls, He choked on a hairball cause he took it all, Man it really made me miss my dog… Because my dog licked my balls, The dog licked my balls, My dog licked my balls, I miss him so much because my dog licked my balls!