I was at the bar with my drinking team 
And it was me, Jack Daniels and my homie Jim Beam 
We were kinda blizzed and we were tryin to behave, yo 
When in walked a soldier, he was from the Fuzzy Navel 
We were fallin, stumblin, crawlin 
In came the police, Captain Tom Collins 
And the vato said, "Freeze!" (Freeze!) 
He said, "Hands in the air and hand over your keys" 
Now we did, and that was kinda simple 
Now here came Margarita and her friend Shirley Temple 
I asked my friend 'bout Margarita 
He said that Shirley was a virgin and I wouldn't wanna meet her 
So I talked to Margarita, cause, yo, she was flyer 
I took her to the couch, cause I wanted to srew-drive her 
Now I'm not one for a speech 
But there was plenty of Tequila and Sex on the Beach 
Y'all 
Tequila 

[ *horn section plays the 'Tequila' theme* ] 

T-T-T-Tequila 

Yeah 

Alright 

Come on 

[ crowd ] 
TEQUILA! 

[ VERSE 2 ] 
Here we go again and I'm not fussin 
See, I'm a French Mexican but I kick it with White Russians 
At the bar with the drink in my hand 
In walked José Cuevo, it was Margarita's man 
I talked to the Wise Man, cause yo, he's distinguished 
His name is St. Ides and he spoke in Olde English 
He said, "You better think fast 
Cause José is kinda crazy and I heard he shot blast" 
He gave me some advice and it went like this, yo 
"Catch the Nighttrain and head up to 'Cisco" 
I didn't wanna stick around 
I caught the 1(:)51 to New York, the Greyhound 
Now I'm at the Red Zone, everybody stylin 
Showbiz was sippin Ice Teas on Long Island 
I blacked out, the party came to a halt 
Cause I was drinkin the Tequila with the lemon and salt 
Y'all 
Tequila 

[ *horn section plays the 'Tequila' theme* ] 

T-T-T-Tequila 

Yeah 

Alright 

[ crowd ] 
TEQUILA! 

[ VERSE 3 ] 
I woke up in the morning and felt like a zombie 
The Tequila Gold Label had bombed me 
You see, I woke up late, I wasn't feelin so great 
And Mike said, "There's a Bacardi party startin at 8" 
Yo, we walked in the party and started playin our games 
We played tops, ??? and quarters with Bartles & Jaymes 
Here came Shirley Temple and they told me to chill 
Because the Mickey Brothers took her up to Strawberry Hill 
They took her $1000 mink and she could barely think 
Cause the Tequila that she drank had her tickled pink 
Now the music came on and I rocked the instrumental 
There's a groupie named Mai Tai, a fly oriental 
A groupie is a girl that jocks 
She wore a def Black Velvet and drank Scotch on the rocks 
We had a Fake Marriage, now here's the Honeymoon 
Yo, it's on, Vagabond at the Blue Lagoon 
Now everybody take a couple of words from the wise 
A girlie and a bottle - Tequila Sunrise 
Tequila 

[ *horn section plays the 'Tequila' theme* ] 

Yeah 

Alright 

Come on 

[ crowd ] 
TEQUILA!