Tom: Am Am C Cowboys and pioneers, come lend your eyes and ears Am E I've got the need to testify F G C F Don't try to fill your nest out in the Em Am Open west F G E 'Cuz there's a million ways to die Am C Six bullets in the gut or just a paper cut Am E Too many ways to quantify F G C F They'll cut your ankle off to cure a Em Am Minor cough F G Am 'Cuz there's a million ways to die C E7 Am A million ways to die D It's a hundred and one in the shade of the sun C G If you fall asleep, you fry C E7 Am A million ways to die D You can live like a saint but there C Just really ain't E E7 Am No avoiding a million ways to die Bbm Aauuu Bbm C# Smallpox and bigger pox, and deadly tomahawks Bbm F Or God forbid you steal a pie F# G# C# F# They'll blast you into shards for bein' F Bbm Good at cards F# G# F 'Cuz there's a million ways to die Bbm C# Out on the desert plains it hardly ever rains Bbm F And you can hear coyotes cry F# G# C# They'll eat you up and then they'll F# F Bbm Shit you out again F# G# Bbm 'Cuz there's a million ways to die C# F Bbm A million ways to die D# With a whoosh and a whack there's a knife in your back C# G# 'Cuz you got a fancy tie C# F Bbm A million ways to die D# C# It's a kick in the pants but you don't have a chance F F7 Bbm Of escaping a million ways to die F F7 Bbm A million ways to die