Adam and Andrew

The First Song We Ever Wrote

Adam and Andrew


Oh Baby (Oh Yeah) 
This is a song for the ladies 
(Ladies song tonight) 
And I've been gay most of my life 
(Gay a long time) 
But I think I'm gonna make 
An exception for you baby 
(He'll probably still be gay after this) 
I will cheat on you with other men 
(Gay Sex) 
But baby-- 
(LOTS OF GAY SEX!) 
You'll be the only girl for me 
(gay sex) 
Do remember the first time we met? 
(first time we met) 
I was digging through the trash and you thought I was a homeless person 
(Hobo in the trash) 
But baby 
(baby) 
I just like dirty things 
And baby 
I like you 
(heh, he likes you) 
I can remember the first time i made sweet, sweet love 
(making love to you) 
It was to a shimmering Rainbow Trout 
(making love to a trout) 
It was the first fish I'd ever caught, coincidentally 
It felt good, cause it had no teeth 
(gummy trout) 
I like no teeth 
And baby 
Thats why we were 
Meant for each other 
I don't care that you've 
Been dead for 2 years 
(dead a long time) 
You still have that soft 
Smile on your face 
(oooh child) 
That says Please Baby, Put down a goat, Daddy's gonna take you home 
(taking you home) 
I dont know what that means 
I think it means I have herpes 

Turtledoves and pigeons feet 
Salamanders and old lunch meat 
And I love you 
The cardboard box that I ate through 
Naked little boys in the locker room 
Whoa 
And I love you 

Baby, I'd like to dress you up 
Like an Ice Cream cone 
And put salmon down your skirt 
(salmon down ya skirt) 
But not live salmon 
Cause baby 
Sometimes they bite 
(PISSED OFF SALMON IN THE PANTS!) 
I'd like to put a carrot down your pants 
And cover you with Ranch Dressing 
(creamy, low-fat) 
Some people would think its man juice 
But I would think it's sexy 
(sexy, oohh yeah) 
If love were a disease 
Baby, I'd have gohnorrea 
(gohnorrea) 
Gohnorrea for you, baby 
And though all the 
Tests have been postive 
Im pretty sure I don't have rabies 
I bite school children by choice 
(choosing biting kids) 
And baby 
I choose you 
You know its funny how stale Jell-o reminds me of you 
(I can insert random stuff here) 
Funky and jiggley in the wind 
(i have a penis) 
Squishy like the hot flesh of your corpse 
(Oooh Hot flesh-a!) 
And most corpses are stiff 
I would know 
But not you, baby 
Your special, like free ketchup packets 

Ostriches and midget porn 
Vaccinations and plastic corn 
And I love you 
(I'm loving you sweet child!)(WAA!) 
Plastic whips and leather shoes 
Hepititas and Elmers glue 
And I love you 

Ohh baby 
You make me so hot 
And I don't understand 
Your about 20 degrees temperature