My son Zachariah won't stop watching the ESPN
I have a news program to watch
Zachariah, hedonistic, back yo
My rhymes you try to steal
See it's time for you all to feel me
I'll make you disappear faster than Bison Dele
Deal me the cards as I'll make you smile
I'll drop you like Ray Lewis' police file
Watched ESPN since I was ten
Long before Mike Tyson went to the pen
I talk about highlights, I talk about sports
I get higher than 80's basketball shorts
Like Steve Kerr back in '86 at 'zona
Rainin' them three pointers all down on ya
Down you're beggin' please as I broke your knees
Going down the lane with relative ease
Pissed off Rasheed got too many 'T's
I yell rest in peace to my boy Tom Hees
Sheez I'm tired
My mind is wired
And check it, like Brady Little, you're fired
My favorite notes in the world are dun en en, dun en en
It means I'm watchin' ESPN again and again
I watch the six, the eleven and the two a.m, two a.m
My girl hates it when she hears that dun en en, dun en en
(I'm out of here - check it)
I used to watch Speed Week and Bassmasters
I miss the XFL and that Craig Kilborn bastard (You watched me!)
I have to admit I watch The Center once a day
Shuttin' down my girl like I was Roy Halladay
Striking out three for the Blue Jays it's doomsday
If she thinks I'm watching anything but hoops today
Rootin' play and she gets beleaguered
She wants me to turn it off and raise a little leaguer
But that's the way it goes watching ball with the pros
And at night she's the Hall Of Fame and I'm like Pete Rose
Meaning I can't get in
Thank God I'm not a bettin' man
Or else the cash I lost would be upsettin' and
I'd be tossin' my ass like a sailor
Take more hits on the arm than Dar Maler
I know you'll give me air time, don't pull it
Or I'll cut you down like Agassi's mullet
My favorite notes in the world are dun en en, dun en en (yes they are)
It means I'm watchin' ESPN again and again (give me that remote)
I watch the six, the eleven and the two a.m, two a.m. (I'm not tired)
My girl goes shopping when she hears that dun en en, dun en en
(I'm using your credit card)
Well I'm the glass on Davey Allison's windshield
I hit more birds than my man Dave Winfield
I cover more ground than the Mariner's infield
Oh! I need a manicure, and a skin peel!
After the season it's off to spring training
If my team's down 20 I pray 'til it's raining
Claiming that the downpour just might fall
I could have been an ump, I've got a wicked strike call
Calling Streeeeeeeha! They got 'em!
Who cares if Kournikova loses, look at her bottom!
I shot 'em like whiskey, oh now I'm tipsy
Like Dock Ellis throwing a no-hitter while tripping
Slipping like Dan Jansen damn I'm handsome
And like Dion Sanders you'll always see me dancin'
Around the field, around the horn let's play
Or I'll shut you down like the All Star Cafe
My favorite notes in the world are dun en en, dun en en (What you say?)
It means I'm watchin' ESPN again and again (Every day)
I watch the six, the eleven and the two a.m, two a.m. (Yawns)
My girl hates it when she hears that dun en en, dun en en
(I am so out of here - Oh!)
I live like Bukowski and the Big Lebowski
I drink more than Sebastian Janikowski
Doubt me? Charge them out let's scuffle
You're idea of rap is the superbowl shuffle
Hustle do a backflip average a hat trick
Best hair on the network except for Dan Patrick
Catch it like
