"we were driving to birmingham, alabama and my buddy keith was driving the truck And this lady about ran us off the road in a cadillac. She just kinda smiled when she went by, and he has road rage and he said look at that big fat bitch So i grabbed my little travel guitar out of the back and went" Big fat bitch She's a big ol big ol fat bitch She goes to ryan's and they say, "shit! This one's gonna cost us... She's a big ol bitch!" She's a big ol bitch She sweats grits You can hide a pound of dope Under one of her tits Big fat bitch She's a big ol bitch Who stole christmas? The grinch Who stole the twinkies? Big fat bitch! She's a big ol bitch Yeah she had this cajun friend Who had a pet alligator She ate that some-bitch Like it was a green now n later Or a fried green da-mator You'd have to have a turbo-foaming car wash brush To masturbate her She's a big ol bitch She's a big ol bitch When she was eight years old she had a pogo stick that would say, "hey wanda!" And they'd go "song-tong-thong-song-tong-thong" And now her pogo stick says, "holy fucking shit!" And they go "bount. bount." She's a big ol bitch She's a big ol bitch She gargles and drools and spits And she makes all kinds of noise She chases the ice cream man down cunningham In her corduroys She's a big ol bitch She's a big ol big fat bitch!!!!