Tom: Am
Am D F G
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B|-5---7---10--3-|
G|-5---7---10--4-|
D|-7---7---10--5-|
A|-7---5---8---5-|
E|-5---x---x---3-|
[Verse 1]
Am G D
The girl in the pastry shop with the net in her hair
F Am G
Is making a cannoli for you to take on your hiking trip
D F
In the woods with your bros that you’ve known since second grade
Am G D
And you may encounter dragons or ruffians and be called upon
F Am
To employ your testosterone
G D F
In a battle for supremacy and access to females glued to the TV
Am G D F
And even if you are victorious you may receive many cuts, bruises, and scrapes
Am G
And you will require band aids and antiseptic ointments
D F Am
And tender loving kisses on your stab wounds and when you come home
G D F Am
She will be there waiting for you with a fire in her eyes
G D
And a big fat cannoli to shove in your mouth
F
And that's why you
[Chorus]
Am G D F
Thank God for girls
Am G
Holla Jesu Christe
D F
From Tennessee to A
Am G D F
Thank God for girls
Am G
On your reckoning day
D F
You better bow down and pray
Am G
She’s so big
D F
She’s so strong
Am G D F
She’s so energetic in her sweaty overalls
Am G D F
Thank God for girls
[Verse 2]
Am G D F
I'm so glad I got a girl to think of even though she isn't mine
Am G D F
I think about her all the day and all the night it's enough to know that she's a-live
Am G
She says I give her sweaty palms she almost had a heart attack
D F
The truth is that I’m just as scared I don’t know how to act
Am G
I wish that I could get to know her better
D F
But meeting up in real life would cause the illusion to shatter
Am G
I carved her name into all the trees
D F
Sang a song down on one knee
Am G D F
Looking at the underwear page of the Sears catalog like when I was 14
Am G D F
I’m levitating like a magnet turned the wrong way around
Am G D F
I’m like an Indian Fakir tryna’ meditate on a bed of nails with my pants pulled down
[Chorus]
Am G D F
Thank God for girls
Am G
Holla Jesu Christe
D F
From Tennessee to A
Am G D F
Thank God for girls
Am G
On your reckoning day
D F
You better bow down and pray
Am G
She’s so big
D F
She’s so strong
Am G D F
She’s so energetic in her sweaty overalls
Am G D F
Thank God for girls
[Verse 3]
Am G D F Am
God took a rib from Adam, ground it up in a centrifuge machine
G D F
Mixed it with cardamom and cloves, microwaved it on the popcorn setting
Am G D
While Adam was like “that really hurts”
F Am G
Going off into the tundra, so pissed at God
D F Am
And he started lighting minor forest fires, stealing osprey eggs
G D
Messing with the bees who were trying to pollinate the echinacea
F Am G
Until God said, “Imma smite you with loneliness
D F
And break your heart in two”
Am G D F Am G
And Adam wept and wailed, tearing out his hair, falling on his knees
D
Looked to the sky and said
