Well, space is cold. It's so ******* lonely And though I'm bold. I'm pretty ******* homely I got a heavy load. It's ******* overwhelming And I may explode. This mother******* ship I'm helming I had a rough day at work And my back really hurts The crew don't take me seriously they just look at me and smirk I'll just go back to my quarters and jerk my Kirk You pass me in the corridors You never ever notice me lurking I'm spending all my time alone Nobody knows how hard I'm working it I wanna take a voyage home 'Cause right now I'm going berserk and The places where my fantasies roam Have got my blood burning I had a rough day at work And my back really hurts I'm gonna quit star fleet and be a mother******* file clerk Or just go back to my quarters and jerk my Kirk All by myself In my own private hell My quarters are a dungeon And my mind is a cell Where I'm locked up tight Alone every night Losing the battle of a Pon farr fight And I can't get control I'm never ever done I can't let go of my own number one But I try God I try If I could just stop and re-supply But I know I'm never gonna stop Jerking my Kirk 'til the day I drop And I know nothing works I'm always gonna have to jerk my Kirk