Tom: C
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There's many drinks you'll drink, me lads, on every world that's new.
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There's Saurian Brandy, Cranapple Schnapps, and a good old Tullamore Don't.
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There's Busch and Beck and Bud and Bock and others dark and pale,
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But I think you'll find the finest kind is Three-Oh-Seven Ale.
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Three-Oh-Seven Ale, me lads, Three-Oh-Seven Ale,
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The finest drink that any bar has ever had for sale,
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It'll lay your whole damn world to waste, it'll make you fit and hale,
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There's nothing that you'll ever taste like Three-Oh-Seven Ale, me lads,
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Three-Oh-Seven Ale.
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It started out at M.I.T. one lazy summer day,
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When a couple of the frat-boy techies started in to play,
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They'd caught up on their schedule with a couple hours to kill,
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So they fitted up the cyclotron and made themselves a still.
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Three-Oh-Seven Ale, me lads, Three-Oh-Seven Ale,
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The finest drink that any bar has ever had for sale,
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It'll lay your whole damn world to waste, it'll make you fit and hale,
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There's nothing that you'll ever taste like Three-Oh-Seven Ale, me lads,
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Three-Oh-Seven Ale.
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They added choice ingredients to brew a little brew,
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But they didn't know the wires were crossed in Chamber Number Two.
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A tiny bit of space got folded, things were looking queer --
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They turned the spout and then came out the world's first Hyper-Beer.
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Three-Oh-Seven Ale, me lads, Three-Oh-Seven Ale,
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The finest drink that any bar has ever had for sale,
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It'll lay your whole damn world to waste, it'll make you fit and hale,
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There's nothing that you'll ever taste like Three-Oh-Seven Ale, me lads,
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Three-Oh-Seven Ale.
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It bubbled and it burbled and it glowed a fizzly green,
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And what it did to test equipment, frankly, was obscene.
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It took awhile to find a vial it wouldn't burst to flame,
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Then they measured out its potency, and that's how it was named.
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There's many drinks you'll drink, me lads, but this one beats them all:
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One hundred fifty-three and one-half percent alcohol,
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A beer, brewed in a tesseract, that'll shoot you through the roof --
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And if you don't believe me, I've got lots and lots of proof.
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Three-Oh-Seven Ale, me lads, Three-Oh-Seven Ale,
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The finest drink that any bar has ever had for sale,
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It'll lay your whole damn world to waste, it'll make you fit and hale,
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It sticks to your mouth like library paste,
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With a stronger kick than toxic waste,
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There's nothing that you'll ever taste
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Like Three-Oh-Seven Ale!
