Tom: Em Em D Cmaj7 B7 The problem is all in your approach I said to them Em D7 B7 You are my children and I want to fill you in Em D Cmaj7 B7 You wonder why your mother grounded you again Em Am7 Em There must be fifty ways to please your mother. [Verse 2] Em D Cmaj7 B7 Keep up the laundry now and put away your food Em D7 B7 Wouldn’t hurt you if you lose the attitude Em D6 Cmaj7 B7 Say, “Yes, maam, no maam”, her name isn’t dude Em Am7 Em There must be fifty ways to please your mother. Em Am7 Em Fifty ways to please your mother. [Verse 3] G Bb Don’t talk back, Jack, clean out the van, Stan C G Put away the dish, Trish, don’t play in the street G Bb Don’t miss the bus, Gus, try not to cuss, Russ C G Wipe off the seat, Pete, and life will be sweet. [Verse 4] G Bb Pick up your mess, Tess, close the screen, Jean C G Don’t get her annoyed, Lloyd, turn down the TV G Bb Pick up your phone, Joan, let her know when you’re gonna be home C G Don’t roll your eyes, guys, and see what I mean. [Verse 5] Em D Cmaj7 B7 You know it grieves me, kids, to see you in such pain Em D7 B7 I’ve known her many years now, so just let me explain Em D Cmaj7 B7 Sometimes you talk and act like you were born without a brain Em Am7 There must be fifty ways. [Verse 6] Em D Cmaj7 B7 I found a system that can give you a better life Em D7 B7 You can live in harmony and put away the strife Em D6 Cmaj7 B7 You know I learned the hard way, things you don’t say to my wife Em Am7 Em There must be fifty ways to please your mother. Em Am7 Em Fifty ways to please your mother. [Verse 7] G Bb Go get a job, Bob, mow the lawn, Sean C G Don’t burp in her face, Chase, just listen to me G Bb Cover your sneeze, please, don’t use your sleeve, Steve C G Use your inside voice, Joyce, and you’ll be home free. [Verse 8] G Bb Don’t talk back, Jack, clean out the van, Stan C G Pull up your pants, Chance, go play in the street G Bb Don’t miss the bus, Gus, try not to cuss so much, Russ C G Wipe off the seat, Pete, and life will be sweet.