Tom: C#m E [Verse 1] D# E How do you do, I F# G See you've met my G# A D# E G# A faithful handyman. D# E He's just a little brought down, F# G cause when you knocked G# A D# E G# A he thought you were the candyman. D# E Don't get strung out F# G By the way I look, G# A D# E don't judge a book by its cover. D# E I'm not much of a man F# G By the light of day, G# A D# E but by night I'm one hell of a lover. [Chorus] B7 A E D# E I'm just a sweet transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania. [Verse 2] D# E Let me show you around, maybe F# G Play you a sound, G# A D# E you look like you're both pretty groovy. D# E Or if you want something visual F# G That's not too abysmal, G# A D# E We could take in an old Steve Reeves movie. [spoken Verse] D# E I'm glad we caught you at home. F# G Could we use your phone? G# A D# E We're both in a bit of a hurry - Right D# E We'll just say where we are, F# G Then go back to the car. G# A D# E We don't want to be any worry [Verse 3] D# E Well, you got caught with a flat, well, F# G How 'bout that? G# A D# E Well, babies, don't you panic. D# E By the light of the night, F# G when it all seems alright, G# A D# E I'll get you a satanic mechanic. [Chorus] B7 A E D# E I'm just a sweet transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania. [Verse 4] D# E N.C. Why don't you stay for the night? (Night.) F# G N.C. Or maybe a bite? (Bite. G# A N.C. D# E N.C. I could show you my favorite obsession. N.C. D# E N.C. I've been makin a man F# G N.C. With blond hair and a tan, G# A N.C. D# E N.C. And he's good for relieving my tension. [Chorus] B7 A E D# E I'm just a sweet transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania. B7 A E E I'm just a sweet transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania. [Spoken Verse] E N.C. E So - come up to the lab, N.C. G and see what's on the slab, N.C. E I see you shiver with antici...pation. N.C. E But maybe the rain N.C. G Is that really to blame, N.C. A So I'll remove the cause N.C. E (chuckles), but not the symptom.