Well I'd hoped I'd treat myself to an evening of british sitcoms But the masterplan was ruined from The second that she came along And the mind it always boggles why she cares Who's in albert square And though it seems impossible to bear I can't help but to stare If I try to make a protest I'll be guarunteed that she won't listen There's a drama on the other side I'd love But its not my decision anymore And it's pointless to attempt to start a fight And sacrifice my pride, When I know I'll ultimately find That I'm wrong and she's right Well I'm slightly miffed to hear her crying But the actors moving on and so the characters crying And the musics getting sadder In this solemn atmosphere Why the hell is she crying? He'll be back this time next year Well I thought that I'd enjoy and reenactment of the first world war Or a series about hammerhead sharks That keeps repeating on channel 4 But the mind it always boggles why she cares Who's in albert square And though it seems impossible to bear I can't help I can't help I can't help I can't help but stare.